


take me away to some place real

by plinys



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 04:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14300547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: “You’re not really planning on staying here forever, are you?”“Maybe I am.”(or, Ray visits Nora in Time Prison.)





	take me away to some place real

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm DarhkAtom trash now. I fully blame this on meeting Brandon and Courtney and seeing how much chemistry they have irl. Like I know that if we got this ship in season four that it would literally be the best, and so in honor of that finale (which I knew what was coming thanks to Brandon spoiling it for me) and all that good DarhkAtom content, I wrote this fic.

She was never supposed to live this long.

There was a plan. A good plan. A plan that she had believed in with every fiber of her being. A plan that she had devoted her life too, raised for that exact purpose, until it was all over.

Until it didn’t happen.

Until she was alive and didn’t know what to do with herself.

No, that wasn’t accurate. She knew what she was supposed to do. Sit here for all of eternity, all of time, that was what those men in suits had hissed at her under their breaths in tones meant just for her. 

There was something to be said for the Time Bureau’s legal process, unethical, guilty without trial, though she supposed she did deserve that.

Didn’t she? 

 

*

 

Accepting her fate seems easier than fighting it. 

It’s always been this way really, when she thinks about it. People putting her places or telling her what to do, and her never questioning them in turn. This was just another one of those places - a foster home, a mental asylum, a demon’s realm, a prison cell.

Time Prison is solitary confinement. 

A thousand years with nothing but her thoughts for company. 

A box with opaque walls that could turn transparent whenever someone on the outside wanted them too, showing her a room that was usually empty, no sense of privacy. No dark corners to hide herself away in like she used to as a little girl. Lights that would dim for eight hours with an artificial night. Meals that came three times a day. A bed that was not meant for comfort, a desk with nothing sitting upon it. A toilet that she’d thrown up into more times that she could count, as if trying to expel whatever remained of the demon within her and then…

A stone hidden under her pillow.

Not a secret, not really.

The Bureau knew that she had it. 

Knew that it had been a gift from one of the Legends, a small  _ thank you  _ for her part in stopping the demon that had controlled her since she was a child. The Time Bureau had taken it for a bit, ran some tests, fiddled with it, not understanding the true power of the stone before returning it to her possession. 

_ A harmless trinket _ , their Director had declared it, with a gaze that lingered on Nora with just the slightest hint of wariness. As if she had known exactly how  _ harmful  _ this  _ trinket  _ could being the right hands.

She hadn’t used it.

Didn’t want to.

Wouldn’t know where to go.

And what was the point anyways. 

What was the point of  _ her  _ now without Mallus, without the only thing that she had ever spent her life training for. As far as Nora could find, there was none. So maybe this was for the best, spending an eternity in a Time Bureau prison. 

At least, it was better than an eternity trapped in Mallus’ realm.

 

*

 

“Miss Darhk? I’m sorry to bother you, but uh, you have a visitor.”

“What?”

She’s not supposed to have a visitor. She’s supposed to be in solitary confinement until she dies or time ends, whichever comes first. The only interaction she got with the outside world was the agents that brought her meals or took her for her daily shower. But this was clearly not that.

The Agent standing on the opposite side of the currently transparent walls of her cell watching her is almost familiar. Not one of her usuals, but familiar in another way. 

She squints at him through the glass. Before asking, “Didn’t I try to kill you once?”

He grins at her, definitely not her usual sort of time agent, “Probably, I’m Gary-”

“I actually, don’t care,” Nora tells him. It’s the first time she’s really been able to  _ talk  _ to someone and she can’t help sarcasm from slipping in. She’s missed the sound of her own voice a little. “Are you my visitor?” 

“No, I-”

“Then who is?”

He glances away from her, back at the door that she knows leads away from her  _ cell _ , she’s been led that way before during her shower time and once when she was officially sentenced for her crimes. 

She watches as the door opens as if on cue, revealing one of the last people that she ever expected to see, and yet… Now that she thought about it. The only person that made any sense.

Ray Palmer.

Of course. 

He looks much the same as he did the last time that she saw him, and he grins at her so cheery and open, that for a second Nora thinks he might have lost his mind. The truth, nobody has ever really looked at her like that before. 

She’s not so certain that she likes it.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” the agent - Gary - says, with a smile that pales in comparison to the bright one Ray is shooting her way, before he moves to head out the door that Ray had entered from. “And remember Director Sharpe said only an hour.”

“Got it,” Ray replies, before turning back to her. 

His focus on her so strong that Nora has to look her way. 

Wishing that her prison outfit had pockets, something that she could tuck her hands into and pretend that this whole situation was casual. 

Her voice is not nearly as casual as she had hoped it would be when she asks, “What do the Legends need?”

Ray looks confused for a second before shaking his head. “Oh no, I’m not here for them. I’m just here to see you.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to visit. After the whole,” he pauses briefly, as if searching for the right word, “Totem thing, we all took a trip to Aruba which actually funny story we tried to do this a year ago but time was sort of broke and then we… Well, there was this things with a dragon, and when Gary mentioned you were still in here I… Why are you still in here?”

She can sense what he’s not saying.

Read between the lines.

The time stone under her pillow, her ticket out of here, if only she would tap into the magic that lay dormant in her veins. 

She refuses to acknowledge that. To acknowledge the escape he gave her, the one that Nora is not entirely certain that she deserves. 

“The Time Bureau doesn’t really believe in fair trials,” Nora says with the smallest of shrugs, “Not that a jury of my  _ peers  _ would have thought twice against sentencing a  _ Darhk  _ to a life sentence.”

There’s softness and concern in his expression. Something that Nora does not understand.

Does he look at everyone this way? Does he care that much about everything? 

How is that even possible?

“Nora, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

It is easy to laugh. A harsh bitter sound that bubbles up out of her throat. “I’m well aware of the wrongs I’ve committed, you don’t have to lie to me.”

“What Mallus made you do-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nora says quickly, because the one thing she has had while stuck in this cell was time to think about what happened. About the horrible path that she’s been destined to go down since childhood. About the badness that ran through her veins long before Mallus took over. And nothing that this sunshine man was going to say would change that. 

But he’s still here.

For whatever remains of their hour, and Nora could use the distraction. 

Even if just for a little while.

“Tell me about the dragon,” Nora says instead.

He hesitates, just for a moment.

Just until she adds, “Please, I could use the distraction.”

And so he does.

Tell a story that means nothing and everything all at once. She listens, lets him become background noise, the first person to talk to her in what feels like far too long. Even if nothing he is saying is important or relevant. Even if she couldn’t care less about what nonsensical mishaps the  _ Legends  _ were getting up to.

It was something different than the endless silence in her head where there used to be another voice.

An hour goes a lot faster than she would have expected it to, and Ray stops telling his story, with a frown when his watch makes a chirping noise at him. 

When Nora casts him a questioning look, Ray replies, “That’s our five minute warning.”

It’s silly, but she can’t help but feel something almost like disappointment take root inside of her chest.

Her face must betray her feelings, because Ray’s tone is just a touch  _ too  _ enthusiastic when she says, “I’ll see you next week.”

“Next week,” Nora echoes the words, with a question clear in her tone.

She sees the way Ray’s eyes soften in slight concern, he’s so soft, she’s not used to anyone looking at her like that. It’s so startling that she needs to look away from him. Eyes moving down to her hand where they’re settled in her lap instead.  

“Yeah, they’re only letting me visit once a week, during your visiting hour,” Ray says, “Most prisoners get an hour a day, but since you’re sort of… Special.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“I’ve been trying to push for more, and it actually took a lot to even get this.”

“So, it wasn’t just because of the dragon,” she knew this. Expected that she was different from any other prisoner locked up in this building. After all, she had been the one to nearly break all of time. 

Still, when she looks up to meet Ray’s gaze once more, and sees a slightly shamed look on his face. As if he hadn’t wanted her to know that the Time Bureau had every intention of locking her up all alone for all for eternity. As if that wasn’t exactly what she deserved.

“Nora, I-”

“What’s the point?”

The words come out harsh.

Harsher than she intended.

And she feels a mix of pride and disappointment in herself when Ray’s soft expression falls away for a moment. 

“Time doesn’t pass here,” Nora says, keeping her tone bitter. 

Even though that statement doesn’t seem quite accurate. Time does pass. Slowly. Slower than she’s ever experienced it before. Worse even than when she was trapped in Mallus’ realm.

“I won’t age,” Nora corrects. “Won’t ever change. A week, a month, a year, a hundred years, it doesn’t matter none of it matters-”

“Of course, it matters,” he cuts her off. 

Normally this would annoy Nora, but there’s something about his tone. So sincere and honest. Did no one ever teach this man not to wear his emotions on his sleeve?

“Why?”

“Because you matter.” 

 

*

 

Ray’s words linger in her head long after he is gone. 

Minutes.

Hours.

Days.

“Because you matter,” she repeats, her voice a sickening twist of bitterness and disappointment. 

She mattered.

Once.

Not anymore.

Now she was nothing but a toy abandoned by its previous owner, no longer wanted, and yet for some reason not being put out of her misery. Forced to suffer here for all eternity, with nothing but her thoughts and apparently one hour a week with  _ Ray Palmer  _ to keep her company. 

She wants to break things, to hurt someone, to take this  _ feeling  _ that is somehow trapped inside of her and push it out into the world. Cancel it into the fire that lingers just beneath the surface of her skin. Power that is all her own, that is her birthright, that she could push out of her and lay ruin to this cell. 

But why?

Using magic here would just make things harder for her. 

It wouldn’t get her out of her cell.

The one thing that would is just under her pillow, and for a second, she reaches underneath where her head lays. Lets her fingers brush against it just for a second, feels the magic within her calling out to it, to her escape.

She nearly uses it.

Nearly does the thing she’s resisted for so long. 

But there’s nowhere to go.

There’s never been anywhere to go.

Ray’s words echo in her head again, her mind playing them on a traitorous loop. 

_ Because you matter. _

The only lie that she’s ever wanted to believe. 

 

*

 

She ignores him the next time that he comes in.

Refuses to get up from her bed.

Stares up at the ceiling. 

_ Because you matter _ . 

She wants to tell him to leave. Not to waste his time. That he’s wrong, and that she’s not important, that she’s nothing, not anymore. But she can’t bring herself to say the words, because that tight feeling that has been lingering in her chest all week only got worse the second the walls shifted from opaque to transparent. 

He doesn’t seem bothered by her unresponsiveness.

Just goes back to the the dragon story that he had started a week ago, as if there had never been an interruption at all. As if there was nothing odd about this situation.

Nora lays there on her prison bed trying to ignore how the steady sound of his voice seems to ground her, trying not to think about those three little words, or the way her eyes burn with tears ready to spill out..

Until she can’t.

Until it is too hard to wait. 

Because if she has to go another week not knowing for sure…. Nora’s not certain that she could handle that. 

“Did you mean what you said last time,” she asks, cutting him off in the middle of his story.

She knows her voice is a mess, can hear it breaking, can feel the tears that had remained unshed at the corners of her eyes threatening to fall, burning and blurring her vision. Still she pushes herself to sit up from the bed, to focus on where Ray stands at the edge of the glass. 

As close to it as he possibly can be.

As if he would be on this side with her if only he was able to.

He presses his hand up against the glass, and for a second Nora can’t help but remember that time that he held her when her whole world was breaking. It feels like it might again. Like the whole world might fall down around her.

There are tears spilling down her cheeks.

Tears that she can’t stop, that she doesn’t want to stop, not when he says, “You matter so much more than you know, Nora.”

She wants to ask him how he knows, how he can be so sure, but she can’t bring herself to do much more than let out the sobs that she has been holding back for far too long. Holding back since that moment in the Waverider’s medbay when she realized how her fate had been changed. 

 

*

 

She composes herself better the next time he comes to visit. Tells herself that she’s not counting the artificial nights and days, not waiting for the moment when the walls shift from opaque to transparent and there’s someone other than a Time Bureau agent on the other side.

Nora is prepared this time.

Has pulled the chair from her still empty desk to the edge of the glass, that she knows leads to the door, where she knows Ray will be.

And he is there.

Grinning at her like he always is.

She doesn’t feel bitter about it this time. 

Instead she feels something almost… Hopeful.

In spite of herself, she had been looking forward to this moment. To Ray standing there, looking at her like there was something good inside of her after all, saying nice things about how good it was to see her eyes dry and color on her cheeks. Nora may not believe him. May never, but it’s a start.

An escape from her own thoughts.

So she takes it. 

“You know, you never did finish that dragon story?”

And for the first time, she actually listens to the story that he’s telling.

 

*

 

“You know, you don’t have to stay here.”

He says it so softly that at first she’s not certain that she’s heard him right. But when she looks up from her lap to meet his gaze, there’s no uncertainty there, just honest concern. 

Ray is always so terribly honest, she’s realized this by now. 

Whereas Nora is not certain that she ever has been.

She plays purposely ignorant. “What part of life sentence do you not understand?”

Ray’s expression shifts slightly to confusion. “Do you not still have  _ it _ ? Did they take it away? I thought… I told Ava that it was a gift so that they wouldn’t take it away.” 

Nora sighs. 

Apparently they were going to have to have this discussion.

Nora’s voice is deadpan, as she replies, “You mean the rock.”

“It’s more than,” his eyes flit away from her as if there are invisible cameras, his voice dropping down into a whisper, “It’s more than just a rock.”

“You’re right,” Nora corrects, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “It’s a fancy rock.”

“Nora-” 

“You know, the cool thing about being hit with an anti-magic gun is no powers,” Nora says, holding up her hands as if to prove her point. 

It’s a lie. Technically, a small one. She doesn’t have the powers that she had before. Not when Mallus was using her as his vessel; she had been so much more than this. Technically, the magic is still there. A quieter version that lingers deep inside of her, in her genetic code, that she could push out if she worked at it, if the situation was dire enough.

It had been, before, in Salvation.

Now, though, here in a prison cell… When she didn’t have anything worth escaping to.

“You were able to before with the totem,” Ray points out.

“That was different,” Nora insists. 

There’s a defensive edge to her tone. 

Thankfully, Ray doesn’t push.

Instead he says, “Actually, Ava asked about it, and I did feel really bad lying about that.”

“Of course, you would.”

“I told her it was a mindfulness stone, like you know for meditation, actually Wally is super into that and he has this whole collection. You hold onto them and find your inner peace,” Ray explains, “Hey! Maybe we could try that next time?”

“I’ll pass,” Nora says, before softening her tone, “Thank you though.”

“You’re welcome.”  

“I still can’t believe you’re really trying to break me out of time prison. Aren’t you Legends supposed to be the  _ good guys _ ,” she asks, making quotes with her fingers.

Ray looks faux scandalized for a moment, casting another look over his shoulder, before speaking far too loudly, “I am  _ not  _ trying to break you out.” 

Nora just rolls her eyes. “You’re a terrible influence, Mr. Palmer.”

He smiles at her, “You too, Miss Darhk.”

 

*

 

“You’re not really planning on staying here forever, are you?”

“Maybe I am.”

“Nora-”

“Would you keep visiting me for all of time?”

“Of course.”

 

*

 

It becomes a  _ thing _ .

Once a week, for one hour.

Her break from solitary confinement. 

Ray Palmer, who was sunshine and happiness and never seemed to stay frowning for too long, even when Nora interrupted his stories to insult his fellow Legends. He still looked at her the way he had looked at her since the very beginning.

She finds herself without really knowing why. Without wanting to admit to herself the true reason. Because nobody has ever been this kind and selfless to her before and she’s not certain how to handle that.

Not certain she will ever know how to. 

Not certain that she deserves this.

But for a moment when he shows up, she feels almost like she could be happy, for the first time in her life there’s this one good thing that is just hers. 

“Tell me more about what the Legends have messed up this week,” she’ll ask.

Or, “Tell me about yourself.”

And he never tells her no.

  
  


*

 

Eventually she can’t take it.

She has to ask, the one question that’s made its home there in the back of her mind. Possessive and cruel, making her question this one good thing that she gets to have all on  her own. 

She has to ask, because if she doesn’t… 

It would be better to know and end it now.

To crush her happiness just a little, as to not draw out the pain. 

Which is why this time when the walls turn transparent and Ray is waiting on the other side, Nora skips their usual pleasantries and gets right to be the point. “Did my dad put you up to this?”

Ray looks shocked at the break from their normal. Blinking at her twice in confusion before he finally asks, “What?”

“Before he died,” Nora continues. “Did he tell you to look after me or something? Is that why you’re doing this? Why you come back week after week?”

“No,” Ray says, so quickly that Nora isn’t sure that she believes him.

She stares at him. Watches with careful eyes, waits for his  _ attempt  _ at lying to her to break. He crumbles quickly as expected. Seconds later, his expression falls away to something slightly tinged with guilt.

And, “Oh.”

She’d known. 

Somewhere inside of herself she’d always known that he wasn’t doing this because he genuinely cared. Ray was a good man, but she… She never did deserve this. She should have known better than to think otherwise.

“Nora, it’s not like that.”

“That’s not even slightly convincing,” she says, shifting back from the glass, pulling in on herself, her arms wrapped tight around her body as if she could protect herself. When she speaks her voice sounds hollow to even her own ears. “You should just leave, I’m not up for company today, or ever again.”

She turns away from him. 

Convinces herself that this is better.

A little hurt now.

Better than letting her get attached, letting her believe that someone genuinely cared about her. 

“I’ve always believed in you,” he insists, “From the very beginning.” 

She doesn’t turn around.

Doesn’t give into the urge.

She just waits until he continues speaking. 

He does.

Inevitably.

Speaking too fast, but there’s emotion behind it.

Emotion that Nora cannot deny, even if she wants to. 

“When we were working together, not just in the end against Mallus, but even before that when we were sitting in that car and you were putting on that ridiculous accent implying all  _ sorts  _ of things, and then when you hesitated for a second because maybe killing didn’t always have to be the answer and I-” Ray pauses, as if he’s catching his breath, because he hadn’t taken one during all of that. “There’s good in you Nora, so much good in you. There was good in that little girl that I met once, that little girl that I failed to save, and there’s good in the woman that is standing in front of me right now. I believe that. I have to, even if nobody else does.”

Tears burn at her eyes.

Because this is… This is so much more than anything she had expected.

“I will always believe that,” Ray insists. 

She doesn’t turn back towards him, knows beyond all doubt that her resolve will break if she does. 

She prides herself on the fact that her voice only trembles ever so slightly when she asks, “Maybe I don’t deserve to be good.”

_ Maybe I don’t deserve you _ .

“You deserve a chance to discover yourself,” Ray insists, stubbornly nice, because of course he is, always, even in the face of her uncertainties and awfulness. “You deserve a chance to figure out who Eleanor Darhk is free from Mallus.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing I have all of eternity to think about that then, isn’t it?”

 

*

 

She lets herself cry over him two days later.

Over herself.

Over the woman she could have been.

And the man that believed in her.

She lets the sobs over take her, under the spray of the shower.

Her guards just on the other side of the door.

By the time she emerges, skin red and raw from water that burned just a touch too much, cheeks red from tears shed, pulling on another standard issue prison uniform, she tells herself that accepting her fate is easier than thinking about any woman she might have been in another life or another time. 

 

*

 

Nora hadn’t expected him to come back. Had thought that he might never come again and that she would have deserved that. 

Except he’s here again, at their usual time with the same unfailing smile on his face, those same eyes that watch her with concern and something else,  _ belief  _ in her, that’s what it was. She could recognize it now, even if it only made her want to avoid his gaze.

Which is why her eyes end up lingering on the books tucked under his arm. Two of them. Hidden slightly from view, but still there. 

“What are you planning on doing then,” she says, eager for a distraction from the heavy tension between them, of things unspoken, things Nora is not certain that she will ever be ready to talk about, “Reading me a bedtime story?”

“Actually, I convinced Ava to let me bring you something to read,” Ray replies, “They’re all harmless paperbacks on perfectly harmless topics, no violence or demons or time travel, just you know… I thought it might be better than sitting there with nothing better to do, but think about… About things.”

The call back to their previous meeting is right there.

Nora could take it.

Could bring up the doubts that would forever plague her mind.

But she can’t. 

Not yet.

Not when Ray was standing here with a gift for her. It’s a gesture so clearly thought out.

He had convinced someone, asked permission, gone through the proper Time Bureau approved routes in order to get these for her. Ray Palmer, ever the boy scout, even in this. 

“You brought me books,” Nora replies, unable to hide the shock from her tone. 

She can’t help but feel touched. 

This man.

The one that believes in her in spite of everything.

“I wanted to bring you music,” Ray says, “I remembered you liked musicals, but there was some rules or regulations, I don’t know exactly but Ava vetoed the idea. I’ll keep trying, but in the meantime we compromised on books and well, these two were my favorites growing up so I thought they might be a good place to start.”

The tears, when they come, are inevitable. 

Even though she would have sworn that she’d cried them all out before. 

“Why are you doing this,” she asks with a voice that shakes, “Why do you care so much? I’m a terrible person. I’m the  _ bad guy _ , you’re supposed to hate me, you’re-” her voice cracks, a sob breaking through and she can’t rub the tears away fast enough. “You’re supposed to want me dead, and rejoice that I’m locked away for all eternity, not be standing here saying you care about me and coming back week after week. You’re not -” The sobs win out.

Her words falling away, a mix of broken half sentences, and by some miracle she finds her way to the edge of her bed. Her head in her hands while the tears fall. The tears that had been so much easier to let fall in the shower, in the privacy of her own space, coming so sudden now that she can’t help them. 

She does not notice the sound of the door to her cell opening.

Does not notice him until he is there beside her. 

Pulling her into him, holding onto her, grounding her with his presence. She clings to him, desperately, as if it is the only thing that she knows how to do. Sobbing there against his chest. 

It’s the first time she’s touched another human in  _ months  _ and all she can do is cry. 

“You’re supposed to hate me,” she manages between the sobs, and the arms against her hold onto her just a little bit tighter. 

“I could never hate you.” 

“It’s been so hard to keep existing, to keep going, and I - I don’t know who I’m supposed to be without Mallus, I don’t-”

“You’re Nora Darhk,” he insists, “And you have goodness inside of you.” 

She feels it for a second, the ghost of a feeling, a soft kiss pressed to the top of her head. Tender and kind. Something that she would barely notice if she wasn’t so acutely aware of every centimeter of contact that she had with Ray. 

The crying wins out.

Sobbing against him, while he holds onto her steady and sure, one arm holding her to him while the other rubs small circles across her back, whispering reassurances into her hair. That it was okay, that it was all going to be okay.

Somewhere inside of her, a small part of her, wants to believe him.

Because he’s there.

He’s staying.

Even though if their positions were reversed she would have left long ago, would have given up on someone as messy as herself, but Ray doesn’t. 

Ray stays.

Long after their hour has passed.

Until Director Sharpe shows up, an almost apologetic look on her face as she stands on the other side of the cell. “Mr. Palmer, visiting hours have ended quite some time ago.”

He shifts slightly, still holding onto her, making no move to actually go away, to leave her and her cell behind. A part of her wonders what he would do if she asked him to stay. If he would argue to stay by her side.

She doesn’t let him take that chance.

Doesn’t let him risk this allowance that they’ve been given.

Instead, Nora brushes the tears off of her cheeks, and looks at the woman standing on the other side of her cell. The woman that locked her up in here without a second thought, because as far as she was concerned this was what Nora deserved. As far as everyone was concerned it was.

Everyone except for Ray.

“Ava-”

“It’s fine,” Nora says, cutting him off, and moving away from him ever so reluctantly, “I’ll see you next week.” 

When she turns back to Ray there’s still concern on his face, and his hands move where hers had been a second later, brushing the tears away from her cheeks. He’s too close, closer than anyone else has ever been.

This feels almost too intimate of a moment.

And she thinks for half a second that she would very much like for him to kiss her. 

Even though she’s never been kissed before.

But he doesn’t.

Not really.

Just another soft brush against the top of her head. 

“Until then.” 

 

*

 

She reads the books.

Slowly turns over the pages.

Tries not to focus too much on the notes in the margins, because  _ of course  _ Ray would be the type of person to write in his books. His handwriting is messy and cramped, little notes about the story, notes that don’t entirely make sense to Nora.

But she finds herself running her fingers over the fading pencil markings, trying not to think about the way the feeling of Ray’s kiss seemed to linger, even long after he was gone.

 

*

 

The next week Ray gets let into her cell by the same Time Bureau agent that had brought Ray to her the very first time. 

“What did you have to bargain with to get this privilege?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Ray insists, pulling her into a hug. One that Nora falls into easily, greedy to hold onto him, to be close to her once more. To feel his heart beat against her cheek and know that he is real and alive and here and that all of this is really happening.

That someone really believes in her enough to keep coming back.

She is reluctant to pull back, but she has to, as much as she would like to spend their entire hour holding onto Ray, she had a feeling that wasn’t the  _ best  _ plan of action. 

She doesn’t move very far away. 

Can’t bring herself to do so. 

Though it seems neither can he.

They stay there, close but not touching for a moment that feels like an eternity. 

Until finally Ray breaks the silence to ask, “What did you think about the books?

It’s a distraction, an offer not to talk about whatever last week was, and Nora takes it. 

“I didn’t understand literally any of it,” Nora says, finally moving properly away from him to grab the first book off of the top of her desk, “So let’s start from the top.”

 

*

 

He brings a checkers board the next week.

A deck of cards the week after that.

An old school walkman after that, with a tape full of Broadway classics.

Slowly but surely building up the collection of items on her desk.

Slowly making his way into her heart.

 

*

 

Having Ray closer during their weekly visits does not make this easier, because she’s pretty certain that she has feelings for him. Feelings that Nora hadn’t thought were possible, that she had never expected for herself.

The girl that had played with dolls and imagined one day having a family was long behind her, having died that day she was ten years old as she watched Oliver Queen murder her father right before her eyes. 

But for a second, for a moment, she feels like that girl again.

She imagines that she might be made for something like that after all.

Not here, not in this life, but she can dream. When he’s gone she can imagine them having met under different circumstances, two different people, two people that could have been made for happily ever afters.

A part of her knows that it’s silly.

That she’s getting attached to him because he’s the only person that visits her.

The only person that cares.

A part of her insists that surely he would never feel the same way, and for what reason, who would want to love a woman that they could only see for one hour a week, in a cell with glass walls.

But still, she watches him, as they play their game of the week. Watches his hands hovering over the checkers board carefully waiting to make the next move, thinking everything through with the big wonderful brain of his, and she realizes that  _ this  _ is the most human that she’s felt in a long while.

Maybe the most human that she’s ever felt.

 

*

 

“You know, it’s almost funny,” Nora says, shoving one of the tiny people into the plastic card, before setting it back on her place on the board. “Somewhere out there, right now, is another version of me. The younger one that didn’t know any better, that thought Mallus was going to  help her.”

When she looks up at Ray he doesn’t seem to find it as  _ funny  _ as she does.

Instead he looks sad.

“I tried to save her,” he says, “I tried to save you.”

“You did,” Nora insists. 

A small smile finding its way onto her face, the kind of smile that she reserves just for him. 

“Still,” Nora says, “Sometimes I think about taking the stone, and saving her -  _ me _ \- from all of that. Changing history, but I think that would just end up with me back in here, because that would probably break all of time… Again.”

Ray grimaces a little, “Yeah, let’s both agree not to break time anymore.”

“I think I can agree to that,” she replies.

A moment later Ray’s hand moves away from the board, sticking out there in the air between her. And even though Nora feels a little ridiculous she can’t help but take his hand, shaking it, making a silent agreement between the two of them.

Her touch lingers for just a moment too long, before she slowly pulls her hand back into her lap.

Pointedly looking at the board game and not at him. 

Trying not to focus on the way that her hand tingles ever so slightly. 

“Where would you go,” Nora asks, “If you could go anywhere in all of time? Not to fix an anachronism or anything, just to  _ explore _ .”

“Egypt,” Ray says without hesitating. As if he’s already thought about this. “I want to see how the pyramids were made.”

“I could take us there right now,” Nora says. 

It’s an offer.

Made in jest.

But an offer all the same.

She doesn’t want to leave here, not really, not on her own. She wouldn’t know where to go, or who to be, and the thought of not having Ray with her, not having this one hour a week… She’d be a fugitive, on the run constantly, never able to breathe, never able to be herself. 

Staying here forever was worth having this.

She may be a monster, may have always been one, but Ray still visits her and that has to count for something. Nora has to believe that it does.

She could do this for all of eternity.

She intends to.

“We probably shouldn’t,” Ray says, the smallest note of reluctance in his voice. 

“Oh, definitely not.”

 

*

 

They continue like that.

Endlessly.

On and on.

Week after week.

Until one day he isn’t there.

She knows that it’s visiting hours.

Knows to count the hours, minutes,  _ seconds _ , between her midday meal and her evening one, for that sweet spot, that moment when Ray is there, but it never comes. 

Her evening meal shows up without Ray ever appearing. For a second she thinks that she might have counted the days wrong. That she must be over thinking it. 

Which is why for the first time in forever, she speaks to the agent that brings her meal. Voice sharp and harsh, the way they expect  _ Nora Darhk  _ to sound. The terrible time criminal that they all make her out to be. “What day is it?”

The agent startles back from her, jolts back from the glass. He’s afraid of her. They all are. Even still. She cannot help but feel a little bit of pride at that, that Nora still has this much control over the situation.

But that pride disappears and the feeling of concern returns. 

The agent squeaking out a mildly terrified, “Monday.”

Monday.

Which means Ray should be here.

But he’s not and - “Where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

The agent doesn’t have an answer from her. 

Doesn’t have anything to say. 

Just hurries out of the room, leaving Nora alone with her thoughts and a meal that she knows she won’t be able to bring herself to eat. Her stomach is already turning and she knows that if she were to try to eat anything she would only end up throwing it up a moment later.

Fear mixed with dread and regret.

Maybe he’s finally come to his senses and realized that she wasn’t worth it.

Maybe he’s finally given up on her like she always expected her would.

Nora would be fine with that.

Nora’s half certain that she deserves that.

But what if…

What if something has happened to him?

What if he’s hurt?

What if he’s dead?

The rational part of her insists that surely if he was dead, Director Sharpe would have told her that much. They may not like each other, but they both cared for Ray and the Legends in some strange sort of capacity and she would have at least been afforded that dignity. 

Surely.

But what if…

She needs to know.

She’s not certain when she starts yelling, but she is, shouting at her cell walls knowing that somebody is listening on the other side as she demands an audience with the Director, making every terrible and awful vow that she can. Pressing her shaking hands tight against her sides, to hold herself together, just barely not having a breakdown until someone finally answers her.

An agent at the door.

Not the one that brought her dinner.

An unfamiliar one. 

With two others following behind her.

“I’m afraid Director Sharpe is busy at the moment,” the agent in front tells her, “Your request has been denied for the time being. Perhaps the Director will have an opening in her schedule later this week.”

“No, no, no,  you don’t understand,” Nora says quickly. When she takes a step closer to the glass, she cannot help but notice the agents all instinctively, reaching towards their guns. As if she’s a threat.

She is.

They should be scared of her.

“I need you to get her for me right now. I need to know where Ray is. I don’t-”

“You need to calm down, Miss Darhk, or we will be forced to make you calm down.”

The threat is there, hanging heavy in the air.

And she feels it. 

The magic in the tips of her fingers.

She could take them if they tried.

Her emotions, her  _ concern  _ over Ray bringing the magic that had been laying quiet and dormant beneath the surface of her skin, bubbling to the surface at the ready.

Giving her an option that she hadn’t had before.

Suddenly, she doesn’t need the Director anymore.

Doesn’t need any of them. 

She holds up her hands, gently, a silent peace offering, stepping back towards her bed.

“On second thought, I can wait.”

The agents eye her a bit hesitant, but after a moment they seem to accept it, putting their own guns away and moving from her cell. The walls turning opaque, leaving Nora alone again. 

Far too alone.

She doesn’t last long.

Barely a moment, barely a breath, before she’s reaching under her pillow, fingers holding onto that stone. The one that will take her away from here. She pushes all of her magic into the stone, the magic she hasn’t used in far too long, and uses it to take her to the one place that she knows will hold information about Ray.

The one place that she knows she can get answers.

Even at the cost of her own safety.

The Waverider’s bridge is much the way she remembered it. Too harsh bright lights. Various  _ insignificant  _ Legends lingers about, all of whom turn their weapons on her the second she arrives on there bridge.

She isn’t surprised.

In fact, she would be surprised if they weren’t pointing weapons at her given the circumstances, but Nora doesn’t have time for that.

Doesn’t care about fighting them.

All she cares about is - “Where’s Ray? He didn’t show up and I - I - Where is he?”

She wishes her voice didn’t break here in front of all of  _ them _ , but she can’t help it, can’t help because it feels like the rest of her might be breaking a little too. 

She’s risking it all for him.

Knows that this is it. 

They’ll take the Time Stone from her after this, no chance of an escape after this, of a fresh start somewhere far away from all of this. She will be lucky if they ever let Ray visit her again, but it’s worth it… It’s all worth it to know that he’s okay. That he’s alive.

They must know.

Must see the truth.

Because finally Captain Lance makes a decision, saying the words that Nora needed so desperately to hear. “He’s alive. In the medbay a little banged up but-”

She doesn’t wait for Sara to finish her sentence.

She knows the way, has been in the medbay before, ends up there as quick as her feet can take her. 

Nora feels like she can breathe for the very first time when she’s standing there at the threshold, and she sees him, alive and well. There’s an IV of some sort strapped to his arm, and he’s sitting in a chair that she sat in once what feels like a lifetime ago, but he’s alive and healing and -

“Nora?”

“You were late,” she says, because what else can she say. “And I thought, I lost you, I was so worried that you… That something had happened but you’re here and you’re safe, and - I -” the tears come before she can stop them. “You’re alive.”

“I’m sorry I worried you.”

She’s not sure who moves first. Her feet carrying her towards him, or Ray removing the IV and crossing the room to get close to her. Isn’t sure it matters because one moment they’re far apart and the next they’re not.

The next moment she is kissing him. 

She’s never actually done this before, never had a reason to or a person that she wanted to, but Ray… She pours every emotion that she’s ever felt into this kiss, every inch of her being into it. Into the feeling of having him there against her, holding onto her arms to keep her steady as Nora pushes up onto her tiptoes to kiss him better. Her mouth opening against his, easy and instinctive, as if this was what she had always been meant to do.

She loves him.

Somewhere inside of herself she knows what this means.

Knows that the risk was worth it.

That he was worth it.

She loves him and she nearly lost him.

But she didn’t.

And that was all that matters.

 

*

 

“We need to talk about this eventually,” Captain Lance says. “Properly.” 

They’re all there in the medbay now, the entire team of Legends as well as Director Sharpe. Nobody is really looking at Nora with approval, but she doesn’t mind, because she’s managed to wiggle her way onto Ray’s lap, sitting with him in his chair in the medbay as Gideon finishes patching him up properly.

She has half the mind to stay here in Ray’s lap forever.

“You lied to me, Mr. Palmer, the Bureau doesn’t normally approve of that,” Director Sharpe points out. 

“He didn’t know better,” Nora insists, a lie to protect him. Well worth it. “It was my fault.” 

“No,” Ray insists, the arm that’s holding her in his lap tightens around her, pressing her closer. A space that Nora goes willingly. “I knew it was a Time Stone when I gave it to her.” 

“Maybe you guys can have conjugal visits now,” Nate jokes. 

“Nora’s not going back,” Ray insists. Voice so steady and sure. Leaving no room for argument. “She’s staying with me. Whether that’s as a part of this team or not is up to the rest of you, but I’m not letting you take Nora away from me.” 

He’d fight for her.

She knows that.

She supposes that she’s known that for a while. 

Just hadn’t been ready to admit it. 

“And what, she’s just going to live in your room then, because last time I checked we don’t have any open bunks,” Zari asks.

While Director Sharpe insists, “The Bureau found Miss Darhk guilty of her crimes against time.”

But it is Captain Lance that makes the final judgment call, sighing a little, she rubs at her temples. “Like I said, we’re going to have a proper discussion later, all of us,” she says, her gaze lingering on Nora as she says those words. “But in the meantime, this is my ship, and most of us have a little bit of a criminal background anyways.”

“Not me,” Nate insists. “Or Ray actually.” 

“Maybe I am the one corrupting you,” Nora says, voice soft, only for Ray to hear.

His reply is just as soft, “I’m happily corrupted.” 

“We’re Legends, and we’re a family,” Lance insists, “And if Ray wants to keep Nora, then we’re keeping her; everything else can be sorted out later.” 

With that finality, they all seem to move out of the room, some of them with glances that linger a little longer than others, but eventually they’re all gone.

Eventually it’s just the two of them.

Alone in a room.

The way it’s always been.

And yet, different.

She’s free.

She’s here with Ray. 

She could kiss him if she wanted to.

She does.

Just a soft one. A gentle press of their lips together, to remind herself that this is an option that she has now. That this is a _freedom_ that she has, this one good thing that she deserves. 

“We don’t have to stay here,” Ray says, when they pull back, “We can go wherever you want, I’ll go with you, anywhere in all of time. As long as we’re together.”

“Together,” Nora echoes. “I think I like that.” 

“Me too.” 

Tomorrow, she would sort out what that meant.

What her place in this whole new world was.

What new person she was going to be.

What  _ good  _ person she was going to be.

“Tonight can I just stay here with you?”


End file.
